Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Forgiveness

I forgive you
and the fear returns,
again and again.
Just as with you,
it does not listen.

I forgive you
and the sadness returns,
clinging to my heart.
Just as with you,
it pulls me apart.

I forgive you
and the anger returns,
thumping within my head.
Just as with you,
I see black or red.

I forgive you
and the self-doubt returns,
asking what if, what if.
Just as with you,
a hard weight to lift.

I forgive you
and I realize again
just how hard it is.
To forget this fear
that was your gift.

I forgive you
and am burdened again
by the weight upon my soul.
To rise from this sadness
is my next goal.

I forgive you
and I suddenly see
the anger is not there.
For I have moved from its house
and left the cupboard bare.

I forgive you
and I hear again
what if, what if, what if.
I worry less by the day
for I know what the answer is.

I forgive you,
again and again,
until I reach that place,
Where these things no longer rise
each time I see your face.